[No I’m not back, not in the least, but this is causing waves already, no? Yeah.]

We all knew it was coming, sooner or later. Personally, I hoped for later but whatever.

Basically, what will happen is the hype will die down some time around new year’s because everything will be resting and flame up again three months before the wedding date (seriously, why isn’t that set yet? someone sure was slanderous in planning the release).

Look at what’s happening with Vikkan and Daniel.

Except that William is still with the RAF, his 3 additional years of SAR he can forget now though, because they won’t let him. Also interesting will be where they’ll live once they’re back in London for good (another one for the bookies, isn’t it? Kensington would be my guess at the moment).

But with things as they are, and the statement of “it’s not a matter if he’ll be having mistresses but when” out there for months already, British bookies will – and this, too, is sooner rather than later – handle bets on how long this marriage will last. Call me cruel, but with the past history of philanderous Windsor men, I hope she has nice cavalry captain (or whatever else she’ll have, considering Miss Middleton is allergic to horses… golf teacher?). One piece of advice, for whatever that’s worth: blond would be a good idea.

I’m not in the habit of placing bets myself and all things considered, getting divorced would be the worst publicity they could have (which is funny, right? Because let’s not forget the Church of England is practically founded on divorce), but I’ll wager it’ll end in separate bedrooms within an either single or low double digit amount of years.

Either that, or we’ll have another case like Masako’s. Because one way or other, the British press is brutal and if future Queen Catherine can’t handle the press attention given to the girlfriend of a prince over a photo exhibition, I have serious doubts she’ll be able to handle the practically outlawed state a royal fiancée (and soon princess) is in.

Unfair, am I? Really?

Okay, take a look towards Sweden and the press Prince Daniel got prior to the wedding, and that only after the announcement of the engagement. And he was relatively press savyy, a made man with his own company and high profile customers even before Victoria. Plus, the Swedish press is so benign it’s almost almost unreal.

Mind you, I like Masako. But putting her into the position she’s in was cruel and destroyed her. I don’t even like Miss Middleton and I almost pity her right now, because it might break her, too.

Quick edit for a PS: There certainly have been more controversial couples who were happy with each other and who made it work (Mette-Marit, anyone?). The problem, why I can’t be convinced they will overcome the obstacles which will arise no matter what and no matter who they are since marriage is never all roses, is that they don’t strike me – and a lot of other people – as happy. The only times William looks happy is when he’s talking about Africa or helicopters. With Miss Middleton I wouldn’t even be able to say. No matter my personal feelings, if there’d been so much as an affectionate smile or even a fond look AT each other in the last year or two, it’d be good riddance to them.

And don’t give me shit about the recent wedding they attended together (when they, reportedly, were engaged already). Have a look at body language, and especially at the hands.

One more thing: If Kate loses ten or fifteen more pounds she can forget about heir production for a while, someone give the woman a sandwich before her follicles stop ripening.