You probably don’t want to read this.

You’ve been warned.

So I will not hop on the happy-dandy bandwagon of being excited about the British wedding, I guess you know that by now.

But instead of my usual criticism of Miss Middleton (which you have read countless times already), I want to look at it from another perspective, because all of this strikes me as odd.

The whole affair of the engagement is odd, how Her Majesty and Prince Charles and even Harry, who has always been close to his brother, have only been informed hours prior to the official announcement and the like. Then the palace said Miss Middleton isn’t going to be a working princess only to backpaddel today to say of course she’s going to be a working princess, but only after they’ve started a family, etc etc. Oh and everyone seems to be convinced Prince William will show her the ropes.

Sure. Princess classes from William. I’m totally convinced. (Not.)

And I’m not even aghast at all the breaks with tradition that are taking place (the engagement party, the no-date-for-the-wedding matter etc), because some things can be good. Other things… Looking at how the Queen is being left completely in the dark and how the Buckingham Palace staff aren’t being involved, aside from not looking good, I think it’s somewhat foolish. Because when I look at how Princess Victoria’s wedding was organised… They had a whole year and that was planned in detail and they made use of the time. That was a Swedish wedding, less security, less toursists to be expected, and the like. And looking at how the uhm…happy couple seems to favour a spring wedding, I’m not sure it’s wise not to rely on people who know how to do this.

Which still isn’t the angle I wanted to take here.

As I said, it strikes me as odd. Both their body language during the interview and the photo op was completely off and not fitting with the happy occassion it should have been. The suddenness, that has everyone in the various palaces swimming and scramble to catch up. I know, it’s portrayed as the young generation gaining more influence in their own matters.

But you know that’s just it: the young generation hasn’t got a clue.

The way William is running things with this engagement, it’s running away with him, and either he isn’t noticing it or he is only just noticing it.

One has to wonder about the reasons.

Now I’m going to spin a hypothetical arc, which does not necessarily have anything to do with the truth, but it would explain things. And it’s not impossible, looking at how things have been in recent years and how this whole business smells rotten somehow.

When Lady Diana died in 1997, we know that the boys were thrown into even more chaos than they had already been by the divorce and what Charles and Diana were doing to one another. Now, I have to leave it to Charles, bringing her back to England and seeing things in their way was an honourable move. Meanwhile, the Queen and Prince Philip certainly meant well with the boys, but those two would have needed counseling.

We know what followed, all of Harry’s exploits and the like. Meanwhile, William always looked to be the stable, the more responsible one.

Harry acted in a way that is expected of trauma-victims, his acting out, his wild-child behaviour. I always thought Harry had suffered more from losing his mother, because he was so young then. Barely 13, old enough to understand but too young to make sense of it. But in a way, being the younger one might have also saved him from a different sort of psychological damage, as William did take care of him in those first few weeks, even in his own grief.

In turn, I always thought William had coped with it in an admirable fashion and he’d grown into a well adjusted, responsible young man. I’m not so sure anymore.

In the last few years you could read a lot about William and Miss Middleton, and even more so in the past few days. All in all, that wasn’t so interesting, because it had been published in some variation elsewhere already. What it comes down to, always, was Miss Middleton had done everything ‘right’, she’d drawn William a bath, she’d cooked for him, she cleaned. she’d been present whenever he wanted it and oh, let’s not forget the sex. Thing is just: except for the sex, he can get that from a maid. And except for the sex, it was a lot of mothering she did, which is not my description but it was mentioned in an article which now is offline.

And for once, I’m not meaning this as criticism towards Miss Middleton. She certainly has reached her goal, and possibly we all should congratulate her for it.

The reason I’m metioning it is to provide some bakground to keep in mind, together with how William handles this engagenement.

Which brings it to my higly hypothetical theory.

Suppose William is angry at the institution of the “traditional monarchy”, because he’s convinced it first made his mother unhappy, which in turn led to her death.

In turn, he has looked for someone who will be there for him whenever he asks for it, who takes care of matters (cooking, cleaning, etc.), basically, who’s the embodiment of an old-fashioned wife, plus who potentially has a ‘happy, whole’ family for him to sneak into. Sounds familiar?

I’m not saying he’s been doing this on purpose, this is a subconscious mechanism and it is very often seen in people who have a loss-trauma, i.e. who have lost someone (like a parent) at a determining stage of their lives. This is another set of behaviour that is to be expected from someone with that sort of trauma, just like Harry’s is.

In the end, he rails against what he sees as the traditional monarchy, against the traditions surrounding a marriage, against the tradition of choosing someone ‘suitable’, against all the things that are seen as traditioal. He even said once in an interview that he acts deliberately contrary to what’s advised to him because he regards these matters as leftovers from another time. And keep in mind he’s always said he doesn’t want to be a shadow king.

The problem is, in his need and desire to rebel against everything that is traditional, he doesn’t see that tradition is what’s keeping the monarchy in place. People don’t go to England, or people in Britain don’t look at the royal family, because it is hip and modern, but because it is traditional. And it’s not about marrying commoners. Queen Silvia and Queen Sonja are both commoners and they’ve filled the role well enough; ten years ago no one would have thought Mette-Marit would fit the role and look at her today. And yet, and that is one point I have to concur on with Charles in an interview he gave some four decades ago: A princess knows what it takes. The times when the wives of monarchs needed to be able to be regents for their children in case their father died prematurely are over, which is why marrying a commoner is absolutely acceptable now. Of course it’s a case-to-case matter (house law, constitution) who does a regency, but much as I like most of the spouses, I’m not sure I’d give any of them a regency (well, maybe Mathilde or Sophie, who are, what have you, nobility).

Anyway, a modern monarchy is a republic. You don’t need a king or a queen if there isn’t an element of tradition and tradition always follows tradition. I know the saying that tradition isn’t keeping the ashes but tradition means passing on the flame, but if you want the throne, you have to follow certain laws. A lot of those traditions (like, e.g. the whole engagement matter and how it’s usually done?) is not to make things harder on your, but because it’s easier for everyone to handle, when you have someone who knows how its done. No one says you can’t have your own ideas, but overthrowing everything and doing it from scratch does bear certain difficulties.

QED.

And again, if it was just about the engagement… But this back and forth seems completely disorganised.

I’ve mentioned their body language was off.

It’s been bugging me for a pretty long while now, this. Looking at events in the past, even if William and Miss Middleton were present, even walking or standing next to another, they never look at each other, never touch. At first I thought it was because William is a Brit and was simply…well, coolish. Not in the sense of hip and trendy but cold, like the Brits have a reputation to be. But when I see him with his cousin Zara or even with Charles, he’s cuddly and affectionate (much to Charles’ chagrin). And then there was the photo op with the BBC (and why did they come into the room single file instead of next to one another?). When they omg, looked at each other. Until I figured out it was only for him to cue her.

Everything he said during the photo op, especially what he liked about her, sounded bored and rehearsed, while she looked like she’d never even seen the room before. I can understand about being nervous, I can! And as I said already, I don’t envy her her position at all, but she didn’t seem prepared at all.

The Sky interview was a similar catastrophe, they sat so far away from each other, they could have been on different pieces of furniture, and yes, he did touch her…and it did look more like he were reining her in than anything else.

I’ve done this a while ago because it kept bugging me (and my thesis was driving me insane) and I’ve gone back through the years, looking at photos, hoping to find something, anything that meant this relationship is a relationship rather than…an accomodation sounds hard and unfair, but rather than just her trying and him settling for what’s available. Tell you what: things looked pretty happy until sometime in 2006 or early 2007, then the split happened and afterwards there is exactly one very blurry picture of them so much as smiling at each other and that was when she aported the ducks/pheasant he’d shot.

Yeah.

Now I could understand about being together for forever and being settled and stuff…and then I look towards Norway and Sweden and Belgium and…well, have to say no, that’s not it. I also could understand about not wanting to give the paparazzi even more munition but: the less contact there is, and the more they show no couple-behaviour, the more hounded they become. So, no, not logical either.

It has the appearance of not being like a romantic adult relationship between two people but more of a emotional dependency from 2007 onwards. Which is not a nice prospect.

There’s a dichotomy between what he says (“crack down on paparazzi” [and as if he could, he should talk to Princess Caroline about that one]) and what he does (body language, looks, forced smiles etc). Making all the right noises, the actions are lacking or contradictory.

And the part about that (and the other matters from above, including his potential anger at the monarchy) that does makes sense makes me chime in with that Bishop, who gave the marriage seven years, sadly enough.

And no, I’m not being cynical on this one.

But as I said: modern fairy tales are a lie.

Edit: I’m not saying there’ll be a divorce, btw. I’m not sure the British monarchy can take another, but it’s likely there will be some kind of…arrangement in place, of the kind Charles and Diana should have had.

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