…so that everyone involved may understand.

Dear Miss Middleton,

it is understandable you are smirking like a cat who got the cream. Although I do not envy you your position, but that was your decision. You will also have to bear the fallout.

However. You are not a celebrity. You are a future princess of the Realm. That is not the same, even though the media tries to make it out to be. You are not a celebrity who can do what she wants and not feel the repercussions. You have gotten away with flaunting your knickers, with attending sex parties and with not wearing underwear at all (please learn how to exit cars properly, I’m sick of looking at your lady parts). So far. But so far, you were just the bedwarmer of the future King of England. Bedwarmers can do that. Future princesses can not.

That said. This dress you were wearing to the most recent wedding

would have been appropriate for a celebrity. It would even have been appropriate for Charlotte Casiraghi, because she is more a socialite and celebrity than she is in line to the throne of Monaco.

But a see-through top (and not enough fabric to cover the knees, although that has been out of fashion recently) is not appropriate for a future princess. And although I’m sure someone has said it before: the dark eyeliner it not doing you any favours, you are looking OLD like that. Also, please put your hair up, or at least back, it’s annoying to have you fiddle around with it all the time and it’s not a good look for someone in your position.



Dear Harry,

under normal circumstances I might smack you over the head for looking there, but I think considering everything you know, it’s forgiveable. Hell, I would have looked there.





Dear Prince William,

the whole world is looking at you. Get your shit together and show up with your fiancée, leaving her alone so you and your mates can go to a pub and eat shepherd’s pie is a no go.

Are you thinking at all? Probably not.






And thank you, Miss Nicholl, for pointing out that Miss Middleton could use a few sandwiches.

Wills and Kate in marriage mode
Kate Middleton joins the future in-laws Prince Harry and Princess Beatrice at friends’ wedding
Hope you won’t wear black on April 29, Kate… and a few hearty meals might fill out your wedding dress

On a sidenote:

I know this should probably go into a separate post but hm I won’t do it.

Congratulations to the Prince Frederick and Princess Mary to the birth of the twins. I’m not convinced that is the weight sans placenta but ah whatever.

Also, I did receive two notifications about this from readers but: No, I won’t make a post about the recent tragedy to strike the House of Pahlavi. Because that would require more comprehensive posting about them to illustrate some things and this is too political. While I wouldn’t hesitate to do this in Europe, the situation in the middle east is not one I want the blog to get mixed up in. Sorry.